10 Things I’ve Learned in Two Years of Ministry

Things I have learned after two years in full-time ministry, in no particular order:

1. It is such common knowledge it is almost nonsense to write about it: millennial leaders are more co-operative than their predecessors. I have noticed that this isn’t really about age of body but rather of mind. Some young stallions are as closed-minded and isolated as anyone ever has been and some older fellas are as open as a kitchen window facing the ocean on a warm day. Perhaps this has to do with the culture around leadership that has developed over the past few years, namely, the decline of people wiling to admit we need leaders. Many hate to follow others, to be “told what to do” and so forth, and so they reject that model. A more positive outlook, the way I see it, is that we hold a sacred trust passed through generations of God-fearing men and women to pass the message on clean and pure. Paul knew that this would be difficult and that leadership itself would erode and that the masses would seek ear-pleasers singing platitudes rather than proclaimers calling forth the Truth of God (2 Tim 4:2-3). That trust is simply too large to hold on my own. Of course, I rely on the Holy Spirit to help me in the challenge, but I can’t see why it would be harmful to do so alongside other like-minded servants of Christ. I believe the more co-operative a minister is with elders, staff, and volunteers, the more they will be able to steward the message of grace, hope, peace, and love for generations to come.
2. There is no one way to worship and this means tension. The bible lays out plenty about the life God intended for us and our families. It also lays out plenty about how the church is to function as a community that loves one another and is known for its radical generosity and humble service-oriented leadership (washing the feet anyone?). It tells us to worship one God and one God only, it tells us that worship may contain scripture, singing, teachings, prayers, exhortations and so on, but it doesn’t tell us the exact details. Scripture lays out principles rather than practices for worship, we are to love, to deal kindly and mercifully, and openly with one another and those who would like to know more about Jesus. I am sick of hearing about the worship wars. Here in Duncan we struggle as two different groups inhabit two different services and occasionally have to rub up against each other (and rubbing always involves friction). I would like to hear about what people are doing that allows them to praise and worship God, to learn about Him, and to do so alongside their children and grandchildren. I don’t think there is one way forward because there are so many ways to embody (incarnate) the principles the bible suggests for us.
3. A few loud voices, poorly disciple’d, can mean ruin. I don’t want to point fingers or even be particularly specific. If you have spent any time in the church you will have examples of your own. When we don’t address this we fail to disciple the people in our care and I think we need to be more open and frank about he dynamics and system at play in our congregations. We need to amplify the voices for unity, for outreach, for love, and diminish those that are insular, never-contented, or bullies. The failure to do so means that far too many congregations are dwindling and dwindling fast…because they are being held hostage by some of the least capable “leaders.” It sounds harsh, but we need to call it out for what it is, and empower our sessions and ministers to do what God has called them to do, to lead and shepherd His people. To be clear, I am not writing this about my congregation or any particular congregation but regarding an amalgam of what I have witnessed over the past two years and part of why I think we face such a decline as a denomination. Feel indicted? Then all I can say is “if the shoe fits…”
4. People are kinder and more generous than most of us believe. Many of us think, thanks to movies, books, and a twisted sense of ourselves, that if it weren’t for police there would be absolute mayhem in the streets. No disrespect to officers, but it isn’t really true. People offer their love in the most tender ways, a look in their eyes when they try to tell you they are safe and can be trusted, the strawberries, lettuce, carrots, apples, eggs and countless other forms of produce quietly left on a doorstep, the giving of one or two night get-aways for young parents who could use a break, the wood chopped and ready, the problem fixed when no one was watching and often before anyone even had to ask. Over the past two years I have been constantly reminded about the goodness, and the Spirit at work in people.
5. The Holy Spirit is still inspiring people. Presbyterians are often uncomfortable with “Spirit talk” but that isn’t enough to slow the work of the Spirit down, at least not always. I have seen lives transformed, marriages re-made, grieving tenderly and spiritually felt and recognized. I have seen people liberated from various problems they felt were intractable in their lives. I have even seen burly grown men cry and pray together. No one spending time here would think we do it all of our own power, they would recognize something funny (or strange happening) and that something is the working of the Holy Spirit.
6. Spending time with colleagues matters, a lot. Since I arrived I have been part of the ministerial here and I have felt so welcomed and encouraged by the godly and experienced men there. For the past 18 months I have been meeting monthly for a breakfast with some presbyterian colleagues and a monthly dinner with them and their families. This has been a time of joy, a time of venting, lamenting, of understanding, of advice giving and counsel. For our spouses it has been a time to talk with others who know what it’s like to feel dislocated, away from home and never entirely of the community one is in, who know the hours and the stresses, and who know the joys, the gift that ministry actually is. I’m also part of a mentorship program which involves a monthly meeting and an annual gathering, this too has been instrumental in my finding my way, in my not feeling isolated, and in my being encouraged.
7. I am more limited than I ever imagined and capable of less than I thought. This can sound rough or false modest, but it’s neither. I am still working through this one, and likely always will be, but time-management is an absolute must in this role. Learning to say no, even when I want to say yes, has been hard. Learning how to best use my time when so many good options are before me has often been painful, but I am getting there. I regularly seek counsel from others about their best practices and whether they think I should take on a project, I read books about time-management and ministry, it seems to take a good deal of time to get this one down but I hope it will prove worthwhile in the end. This one also means that I have spent more time praying and reading the bible as the months fly by. If God wants something to happen, then it is going to happen and if he doesn’t no matter how hard I try it ain’t gonna happen.
8. If God wants something to happen it’s gonna happen on his time. Not only does God get his way (a perk of being God I suppose) He gets to do it when he wants. We built a new office for the minister and administrators here in Duncan, it took less than 6 months to plan, pay for, and build. We spent a year looking for a new Music Director, and finally God has provided one who is sympathetic, capable not only of accompanying the congregation on Sunday morning but of leading it into praise and worship. I wasn’t very patient during the process, none of us were, (we said all the right things about waiting on God etc., but to be honest we wanted our new music person and we wanted them last week!) but the process was a good reminder that in God’s time things will unfold and His timing is better than ours.
9. Ministry means I get to see a lot of my kids. This one may be a surprise given the almost endless lamenting about ministry we hear these days. Here’s the thing: a minister’s schedule is highly flexible so they can coach sports, teach kids to swim and read, be there at lunch time or after-school, if only they get over the notion that all work must be done between 9 and 5 and that the hours outside those are always “extra.” There is nothing wrong with me working 6-7 a.m. and then getting breakfast as I hustle my kids out to school before settling back in to work at 8 am, it means I shift my time to show my children that I see them as a blessing from God and a priority in my life.
10. I can’t spend too much time on my strengths. I read and read and read and I write and write and write. I spend time with people over coffee, I spend time with staff and elders just chatting, chasing down those most excellent ideas and insights and getting to know them better and witness God at work in their lives. God put my here with a particular gift-set and I need to continue to refine it. I am never satisfied with a sermon, a prayer, a blog post or anything else. There is always room for improvement. This isn’t a downer, it’t inspiring (at least to an A type person like who loves the challenge of it all). With God we labor not in vain.